Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Waiting, waiting, waiting

The two-week wait before my pregnancy test was hard.  Fortunately, the First Responses and Clearblues made it a little more bearable because I didn't actually have to wait two weeks for the result.

Now, this one-week wait for my next ultrasound, well, it's been torture.  I don't have a home ultrasound machine, nor do I have the ability to test my hCG levels.  I have been going crazy.  I've somehow made it through 6 days, but it's been manic.  I've resorted back to Googling everything and I am not encouraged.  There are stories out there that turn into miracles, but those just aren't the kind of things that happen to me.  I keep thinking and hoping and praying they will, but a history of disappointment is all I have to go by.

I contemplated calling the doctor with some fake ailment -- cramping, bleeding, etc. -- just to see if I could get in sooner.  But I figured that might cause even more worry if I didn't see what I wanted and would once again have to wait.  (I know you think I'm crazy too at this point.  I probably am.  But then so is every other woman out there who doesn't know what the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is going on with her pregnancy.  Google it). 

So in less than 24 hours, I will HOPEFULLY have my answer.  I think I already know, but if there are miracles out there, I pray one finds me tomorrow!

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