Bittersweet

I got my "period" yesterday, just as the doc predicted.  I'm grateful that it came quickly and naturally, which means I won't have to consider the idea of surgery.  But now begins a new wave of emotions.  This same thing happened the first time around.  One day I'm skipping around happy as can be; the next, I can't help but cry and feel sad. 

Mostly I'm sad because I have no idea what the future holds.  I don't know if the next one will carry through to the end, or if there will be a next one at all.  I don't know how long it will take, if we should try again naturally, or if we should go straight for IUI #2.  I don't know if we are passing along something genetic that is causing the pregnancies to fail.  I could go on and on...

My blood results from yesterday showed that my hCGs are dropping, as they should be.  I'll have to have weekly tests until they finally reach 0. 

I thought it might be easier the second time around...guess I was wrong.