Thursday, August 16, 2012

Wah-wah (insert sad trombone here)

During my two-week wait between our IUI and the pregnancy test, I kept saying, "I know I'm pregnant.  I just KNOW it!"  Even though I had no symptoms or any indication that it was true, I could just feel it in my bones.

Kinda like the last week waiting for today's ultrasound, only this time around I just knew I wasN'T.

My ultrasound didn't change much from last week.  The gestational sac grew a little bit, but still no yolk sac or heartbeat.  The doctor said we had a 50/50 chance that it could still be viable.  We scheduled another ultrasound for next Tuesday.

About an hour ago, the doctor called with my blood test results.  Not only had my hCGs not doubled, but they had dropped; a definitive diagnosis of miscarriage.  What started out as a beautifully implanted fertilized egg-against-all-odds turned out to be a blighted ovum.  There will be no Baby L once again.

We're gonna take a little breather -- maybe a month or so -- to regroup.  Plus we have a super fun trip planned for our birthdays and I don't want to miss the fun on account of stress and rampant emotions.  We'll jump back on this train when we feel ready.  Until then...

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