A New Beginning

When I first decided to write this post, I thought about naming it "The End" or something else to that effect.  But then the song "Closing Time" by Semisonic popped into my head.  

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Today marks a new beginning for us.  

When we turned in to bed last night around 9:00pm, I was feeling some sharp cramps in my abdomen.  I have been quite paranoid about every little thing throughout the last couple weeks, but rather than worry, I gave Baby L a little pat and said I would go through whatever pain it took to keep him/her safe. 

When I woke in the morning, I still had cramps but got up and ready for my normal routine.  I hit the ladies' room on my way to the shower and found a clear (well, bright red, actually) indication that something was wrong.  I went in the bedroom where Nate was sleeping and said, "Babe, I think I just lost it."

I tried to continue getting ready for the day, but found myself dizzy and nauseous and on the verge of passing out.  I stumbled back to bed and immediately called in sick to work.  I also called the on-call doctor who didn't sound too concerned.  "Stay in bed, elevate your feet, drink lots of water, and get into your doctor's office today for an ultrasound."

Having a couple hours to kill before the doctor's office opened, I googled every possible reason that I would be experiencing these symptoms at 8 weeks.  I found online bulletin boards on miscarriage, common blood clots, subchorionic hemorrhage, some even resulting in perfectly healthy babies.  I decided there was no sense in worrying and hoped for the best.

At 9:00am, Nate met me at the doctor's office where we were taken in for an ultrasound.  The second the picture appeared on the screen, it was clear that Baby L was nowhere to be found.  The ultrasound technician explained that the yolk sac had collapsed and the pregnancy was no longer viable.

It's been a weird day for emotions, varying from heavy tears to indifference and everywhere in between.

Breaking the news to our families was difficult, especially considering they'd only found out about Baby L 24 hours earlier.

While we're very sad to say goodbye to Baby L #1, we are hopeful and optimistic and can't wait to start trying for #2!  We have a few weeks to go before the miscarriage is complete, and a couple months before we can start trying again.  In the meantime, we are leaning on our faith and trust in God that He will bless us with a healthy bundle of joy when the time is right.

I have decided to continue this blog rather than put it to rest and start a new one.  It is called "Adventures in Babyland" after all, and this is just one of the less fun parts of the adventure.  Plus it's been therapeutic for me to be able to share this with the world...even though no one even knows it exists.    :-)

So here's to new beginnings.  I can't wait to share where this adventure takes us next!!  Stay tuned...

A day of reveals

About an hour after we surprised Grandpa P with his birthday card, Nate's phone began ringing.  He pulled it out of his pocket and the word "Bro" flashed across the caller ID.  Maybe it was all the baby talk going around these days; maybe it was a gut feeling; maybe it was intuition, but all we needed was to hear the words to confirm our suspicions...SIL is pregnant!

Wait!  Weren't we supposed to be making this call to them???  Are we really due just weeks (if not days) apart???  Am I seriously going to be an aunt and a mom before I turn 35???  Turns out the answers (in no particular order) are: yes, yes, and yes!

Congratulations, Bro/BIL and SIL!  We can't wait to share this experience with you both!

Of course, our next call was to Grandma and Grandpa L.  After some technical difficulties, we got Skype up and running for the first time ever so we could tell them "in person."  After some chitchat about jobs, puppies, and life in general, Nate asked, "So which one of you is coming to California, and which one of you is going to Florida in September?"  


No need for explanation, hands flew in the air and applause broke out.  


Three years ago, they celebrated the marriages of both of their sons and gained two new "daughters."  And now look forward to becoming first-time grandparents two times over all within the same month.  


Congrats, Grandma and Grandpa L -- times two!

"Oh my @#$&!"

My dad's 75th birthday is in two days, and today our family went to brunch to celebrate.  We aren't quite ready to announce Baby L to the world yet, but we couldn't pass up this opportunity to congratulate Grandpa P on his new title. 

We bought a card that read, "If all the grandpas were just like you, the world would be a better place."  Inside we wrote, "I can't wait to meet you.  Love, Baby Lattimore.  (Scheduled to arrive this September)."

While "Oh my shit" was not exactly the first expression I was expecting out of my dad's mouth when he heard the news, it was certainly a priceless moment!  Happy Birthday, Grandpa Pechan!

First Doctor Visit -- Part II

We have confirmation...and a heartbeat!!!  Baby L just made Mama very, very happy!  

(My apologies for the video narrative...I'm sure no one needed to know they were looking at my bowels.  )

First Doctor Visit -- Part I

My first prenatal visit is in less than two hours.  I am a ball of anxiety and nerves.  Going back to my last post, I am feeling even less pregnant than before.  I've decided I won't feel at ease until I hear confirmation straight from the horse's mouth...but since Baby L has no way of telling me personally, the doctor's word will have to do.

...praying, praying, praying...

One of the Lucky Ones???

According to BabyCenter.com's due date calculator, Baby L will be here around September 5th, which puts me in week number 8.  So far, the only symptoms I have experienced are short nights of sleep, visiting the ladies' room a little more often, and a rare cramp here or there.  To be honest, I'm not even sure if these are symptoms or just side effects of behavioral changes I've made in the last week.

While I'm thrilled that I'm not spending my days heaving over the porcelain god or requesting Nate run to the store at 2:00am for pickles and ice cream, it's a little unsettling.  The researcher in me has been working overtime lately Googling every little question or doubt that arises in my head.  And all I can find on the subject:  If I'm not experiencing any of the typical early-pregnancy symptoms, this is perfectly normal and I should consider myself one of the lucky ones.

So I'll accept that for now, especially knowing that soon enough I'll be dealing with clothes that don't fit and a whole slew of other issues.  But is it weird to think that heaving up just one little meal would help me appreciate this time a little bit more???

It's a...Baby!!

Hi.  I'm Lisa.  I've been married to my husband Nate for about two and a half years.  Last year we decided to embark on a new adventure together, and on May 1, 2011 (as my friend JJ says) we pulled the goalie!  Since then, we've anxiously awaited Aunt Flo's visit each month, and though she was always tardy, she inevitably showed up without fail.  Until now...

Since I've been on birth control for more years than I can remember, I forgot what it was like to not be able to predict exactly when my fun little friend would show up.  So each month brought anxiety and anticipation, 13 total wasted pregnancy tests, and much disappointment.

This month started out no different.  According to MyMonthlyCycle, I would be craving, cramping, and crying on January 4th.  I paid no attention to the date because it has yet to prove true.  However, being the curious/anxious/paranoid person that I am (hence the 13 tests in 6 months), I stopped by Walmart one day and grabbed some deodorant, body wash...where was I going with this?  Oh, yeah...and a box of Clearblue Easy's.

When I got home I went directly to the bathroom so I could ease my mind that my Friday-night-bottle-of-wine ritual would be just as harmless as the countless in the past.  About three minutes later, I looked down and there it was, that 8-letter word I had yet to see without "not" in front of it: PREGNANT!

For a minute, my heart stopped.  I giggled, ran downstairs, talked crazy to the dog for a minute, sat down, caught my breath, checked the test again, and stared at the ceiling in a second of panic.  And then I rejoiced!

I had previously invited my family out for an evening hike hosted by one of the local parks.  Knowing I have the worst poker face ever, I decided to wait until everyone left after the hike to share the news with Nate.  While we were out, as "I know something you don't know" was dancing in my head, he held my hand, and I fell in love all over again.

After we got home and settled into our PJs to watch a movie, I showed Nate the test and a flood of tears and laughter came over me.  It was amazing.  I can't remember ever feeling so giddy.  We sat in silence for a minute letting it sink in.  Nate said, "We did it!"  

And then we started the movie...